The 8 worst diets

Summer is approaching and it's time to pass the swimsuit test. Are you ready and prepared? It may be too late to get in shape in time by going to the gym, but no fear! There are always diets that can help us show off an enviable body.

But in the midst of so much advice, how do we find the right diet for us and especially not risk immediately regaining all the pounds we lost once we finish? We don't have an answer, what we can recommend, however, are the 8 diets that are definitely best NOT to follow.

A handy guide that, from the banana diet to the prayer diet, will help you get back into splendid shape.

Please note: all diets are real, we have not invented anything.

The banana diet

Get up in the morning and feel hungry? Eat a banana. At lunchtime you feel peckish? Voila, you can also eat two bananas. And guess what we made you for dinner? That's right, bananas.

Warning: consult a doctor in case you start to notice some yellow coloring on your skin...

Baby diet

Beloved by Hollywood stars, a balanced baby food-based diet. That's right, the very ones that are given to babies. You'll be able to eat up to 18 cans a day without worrying about putting on weight. 

Unfortunately, as a downside you will start waking up every 3 hours at night and crying inconsolably. And I mean it: on a diet like that, who wouldn't start crying?

Fletcherizing diet

Similar to the previous diet, it was theorized by Dr. Fletcher who died very rich from the proceeds of his method. 

The diet is very simple to put into practice: you can eat whatever you want, but each bite must be chewed 32 times, or once for each tooth, and then slid down your throat by simply throwing your head back. If it doesn't slide in, it means it's no good.

It will take you a long time to eat, and you will basically sit at the breakfast table and not get up until after dinner. Buy comfortable chairs.

Ice diet

As a supplement to the diet, you will need to take in at least one liter of water in the form of ice every day. A good pound of ice cubes every day that will make hunger go away, numb your taste buds, hydrate you and at the same time make you look like snowmen, at least as a body temperature.

Sleep diet

Much loved by Elvis Presley, it is based on the principle that if you are sleeping you are not eating. So when you get hungry, throw down two sleeping pills and you'll see that you'll get over it.

Your social life may suffer, especially since when you go to a restaurant your friends may not feel much like carrying you back to the car in their arms.

Blue lens visual diet

It is known that cooking must satisfy the eyesight as well, and a dish that is beautiful to look at invites people to eat more. In Japan, to avoid this, they invented the visual diet: you eat what you want , but you have to wear glasses with blue lenses that make every food blue. Since blue makes the dish less appetizing, one should eat less.

We at Ottovolante cover reading and and sunglasses, but weight-loss glasses we had not actually thought about yet…

Paleo diet

Prehistoric humans did not know about the diseases we suffer from in the 21st century, so why not draw on their diet, free of refined sugars and lots of industrial junk?

That would be a great idea, if only you could find saber-toothed tiger filet at the market with which to make stew.  

And don't forget to start a fire by rubbing two flintstones together!

Prayer Diet

When you feel hungry, instead of eating, say a prayer to drive away your appetite. In the morning, instead of with a brioche, accompany your coffee with a beautiful prayer. At dinner, pray to lose weight.

Does this work? We don't know, we just have to pray it does....

Our Ottovolante Glasses are a perfect alternative to dieting: they won't make you lose weight, but they will make you look glowing at every opportunity.

What’s the point of the bikini test when you can be fashionable?