For sure, you'll get tons of newsletters, and let's face it, they're not always of the highest quality. Buy this, buy that, choose me, get this unmissable 2% discount. Hundreds of words to read until the fateful day in which we do not click on the "Unsubscribe from the newsletter" or we do not put them permanently in the spam to not suffer anymore [...]
At Ottovolante we want you to enjoy receiving our e-mails, so first we will list the 8 worst newsletters that you might receive and that you might already be receiving. We promise that ours will not be like that.
The on repeat newsletter
You haven't even had time to click on the link to confirm your subscription when a constant bombardment starts: 2 or more e-mails a day with the most questionable offers and the most useless suggestions. Not to mention the "You bought this, buy that" or, even worse, the ones that always suggest to you the same object purchased and want you to buy it again and again and again.
Perhaps those who send these newsletters need affection but, let's face it, nobody likes a clingy partner.
The newsletter full of typos
Wrong accents, tipos (like this one we just made on purpose), links that don't work and increasing stress. An anthology of errors, missing words, letters that can't be read.
Dear sloppy friend who sends these unreadable mails, if you don't have time to review and correct it before sending it, why should I have time to read it?
The newsletter with attached PDF
It seems unbelievable, but even in 2021 there are still those who send newsletters with only "PDF attachment" and a very heavy document to download. The question is why? Don't they know that no one, in the unfortunate event of deciding to download the PDF, wants a trillion megabyte attachment that takes an hour to open on the computer or, even worse, on the phone?
The passive / aggressive newsletter
Some don't give up, ever. Maybe you forgot to read one of their newsletters and they send you one right afterwards saying "Why didn't you open the e-mail we sent you?" or "Maybe you don't love us anymore?".
I understand affection, but don't you have a life? Or do you just watch to see if we open our e-mails or not? Come on, come on, go out, go for a walk, have an ice-cream…
The newsletter without your knowledge
One fine day you get a message in your email box saying "We have subscribed you to our mailing list" or you get a newsletter that you had no intention of subscribing to.
Apart from the fact that it would be a crime to sign up people without their knowledge, these emails are just one level of hatefulness below those who call you to talk about work at 7 o'clock on a Friday night.
Too formal newsletters
Dear Madam, Dear Sir, Dear Company. I like these e-mails that come straight from the nineteenth century. Instead of a newsletter they should send us a carrier pigeon or a messenger in a cloak. We can imagine them talking like this with a monocle in their eye and a waistcoat while giving orders to saddle the horses.
Come on, it's the 21st century, let's go. You can do better.
The newsletters too good
On the opposite side are emails from companies that start with "Hey!" and treat you as if you've known each other for years. But who knows you? Who are you?
Now, it's fine that language evolves, but let's find a middle ground, perhaps. You have my email, but it's a long way from being friends. And frankly, we have no intention of making friends with the company that supplies our electricity or gas.
The newsletters that won't leave you
Finally, there are those newsletters that, not content to have one or more of the above features, do not put an unsubscribe button. You read the whole email, look for it everywhere, and it's not there. You send an email saying unsubscribe, and nobody replies.
So, if you want war, let it be war: straight into the SPAM bin, that's where you belong.
Sign up for our newsletter and we promise you we won't follow up with any of the 8 types of emails we've described above.
We'll send you updates on our blog, news about our glasses and do our best to become your favourite newsletter!